Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
