As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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