so explain again why im purple
no
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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