... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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