The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
worst night to have a conscience
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
