Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
