Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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