batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
