Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I want is dick and wine.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
