Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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