theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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