I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
