Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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