morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
