nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
