i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
