yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
