I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
