im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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