You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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