I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
