I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
