I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize