my phone needs a breathalizer
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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