I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
