Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
