He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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