okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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