Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
