Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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