My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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