Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
