Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
