Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
