"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
