Umm I'm too high to move.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
