While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
