yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
In the future we'll all be gay
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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