I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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