You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
