Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
