Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drake has all the answers
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
