that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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