My Higher Power is John Stamos
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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