I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
