...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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