He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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