the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
