If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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