You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Fuck appropriateness.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
