i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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