one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
