JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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