All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
