belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
