i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
