No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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