i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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