i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize