I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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