Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
