when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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