yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
