Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
