why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
